I’m seeing ever more clearly that there is an enormous hole in the New Age world. I see this huge hole even in the actions of spiritual life coaches and writers.
Here are just two of many examples I could give you:
EXAMPLE #1
A while ago I asked an “enlightened” (meditates, reads and quotes all the spiritual gurus, etc.) friend to read an article I wrote, and give me feedback. Two weeks later I asked them if they’d read my article. They responded that they’d started to read it and it was “amusing and fun, as expected.” (It was actually a very deep article, after the funny intro, so apparently they never skimmed past the first couple of paragraphs.)
A month or so later, this same friend asks me to read and give feedback on an article (about spirituality) that they have written. I said, jokingly, I’d critique theirs if they critiqued mine. They ignored that.
I spent hours reading, analyzing, and giving in depth feedback on their article. (I am a developmental editor.) I had my own teaching/curriculum design deadlines at the time, and ended up staying up until 2 in the morning, in order to finish everything. (I didn’t tell them this.)
After I sent them my notes/feedback, they wrote a couple of sentences in a note, thanking me.
Still no mention of them reading and giving feedback on my article. It’s like I never asked them to do this.
You would think a person might notice a faint discrepancy, when their friend gives an in-depth analysis and detailed feedback of their writing, while they have not yet read or given feedback on the friend’s writing, sent to them a month ago.
I know what you’re thinking. I sound like a martyr, no one held me at gunpoint, etc. I could have said no. We should help friends without expecting anything. I know, I know. And I will never help that friend again. Also, our friendship will remain at a pleasant level but not grow deeper. But you get my point, right? Or maybe you’ll get the point if you keep reading.
EXAMPLE #2
Another of my “enlightened” friends (meditates, studies all the spiritual gurus’ work and loves talking about their philosophies…. I have many, many friends like this), recently asked me to do something that would involve a big investment of my time. After two days of agonizing about telling the friend I did not want to participate, I wrote them a long letter. I apologized and explained at length that I did not want to take that on, because my life is in a really good place, and my time is needed for my projects and my daughter. I also mentioned how finally I’m focusing on my own goals instead of giving all my energy and focus to employers, ex-husbands, etc.
Then I wrote a long-ish description of how happy and peaceful life is now for my daughter and for me. I wanted to catch them up on my happy life and share my joy with them. Many times in the past, they had talked about their life in detail with me. It had been a long time since we talked about my life.
The friend wrote back one sentence saying, basically, “That’s not what I meant.”
Imagine you are the friend in this scenario. If you hadn’t spoken to me in a couple of months, (AND if the 10 previous conversations had been mostly about you, your interests, your stuff going on, and I had been a compassionate listener, and neither of you had thought to mention my life), and then one day I gave you a very happy update on my life, would you ignore it? Would you say absolutely nothing about feeling happy for me?
I see one thing in common in these two examples (and in many more). The common element in all these examples seems to be that the person’s pursuit of spiritual knowledge and “enlightenment” is all about THEM, and what is useful and convenient to THEM. It’s about what serves THEM and makes THEM feel good about themselves.
Apparently, in all the new age books and workshops these people read, learn from, memorize, and quote to other people, nowhere is THIS mentioned:
“DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.”
I prefer a different version, because the original contains a smidgen of concern about how we are treated. Sort of “I’ll be nice to you if you’re nice to me.” I’d rather just go with this:
BE KIND.
There is a huge hole in New Age philosophy where this concept belongs.
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