Realizing How Many Shitty People Have Been Shitty To Me All My Life But Choosing To Feel Happy Because They’re GONE And I Am FREE.

From 2019

Does this ever happen to you?

I had a moment today where I suddenly saw so clearly in my mind, all the people throughout my life who were cruel to me, used me, lied to me, took advantage, took for granted, mocked, manipulated, abused me, and wanted to imagine the worst in me. 

I saw so clearly how I’ve been kind, loving, giving, generous, forgiving, sincere, trusting and wanted to see the best in people, for so many years.

They wanted to drag me down. I wanted to build them up.

A few things happened when all this flashed in front of me.

First, I thought, “Wow, fuck ALL of them!  SLIME! SCUM! EVIL!”

Anger swept through me.

Then, I realized that up until my “awakening” about 15 years ago, nearly EVERY person in my life was a selfish Taker at minimum, if not an outright abuser.  And every other member of my family except TWO, is a toxic person who does not understand or appreciate me AT ALL. They have been the cruelest of everyone (aside from my NPD ex).  Mean, petty, jealous, manipulative, vicious…

For most of my life, I was surrounded by shitty people. The shittiest of the shitty.

Then I realized this:  those people are all GONE from my life now. Family members, ex-husbands, toxic friends…all of them.

I am FREE! 

I’m free from all the mean shitty losers. They thought I’d be sweet, giving, trusting, and forgiving forever but THEY THOUGHT WRONG. Hahaha.

I got smart. I got strong.  I woke up. I left. 

And now they’re left behind, stuck in their own eternal pool of misery, because they will never change or grow.

And I am freeeee. Happy!

These days, I’m surrounded by beautiful, enlightened, kind, generous, wise, evolved people.  My life is peaceful and uplifting.

So I’m not going to let myself feel bad about this sudden wave of realization about how trusting and soft I was my whole life — an incurably idealistic Empath — while The Shitty Ones took advantage, laughed at my idealism, and mistreated me over and over.  I’m going to feel GOOD about who I have ALWAYS BEEN and where I am NOW and how FREE I am now.