Recently, I found a box of all my journals since the late 80’s. I’ve started reading through them slowly. This is the first time I’ve read them! I am having so many insights while reading them. Also lots of cringe moments! Haha.
One thing that I wrote about while I was deep in my old, oblivious fog, has given me an idea that might be useful to many people.
In a journal entry about a week-long writing seminar I attended, I described the wonderfully uplifted feeling I had throughout the week. The seminar was held at a beautiful New England resort and I was surrounded by creative women of all ages, for one week.
There is such a contrast between this journal entry and most of what I wrote in that journal — which was about life with my first husband, Sean.
What I see clearly now, is that even though I still felt in love and hopeful about Sean, (because I was such a giving, patient, endlessly forgiving and optimistic Pollyanna, focused on his happiness and blind to the fact that he (and I!) ignored my happiness), I was also feeling dragged down and sad about life, without having a clue about the cause. Plus, I had terrible chronic health problems. Most of the time. But NOT while I was at that writing retreat with all those positive, deep, interesting, supportive, creative women. That week, I felt elated, vibrantly healthy, miraculously pain-free and energized, and happy and hopeful about myself. The exact opposites in every way, of how I normally felt every day.
So here’s my thought:
How much of people’s chronic health problems and low energy is caused by the people in their life? What if my week away from Sean was like an accidental test to see how I felt when I was away from him, compared to how I felt when I was with him? What if a couple weeks away from your partner tests your relationship in the same way?
And here is my idea:
Everyone should spend a couple weeks each year, far away from everyone in their life, either alone in nature reading uplifting books or listening to uplifting videos or podcasts, or in some kind of course/camp/retreat surrounded by positive, supportive, like-minded people. See if their health and energy improves.
I think this is especially important for empaths and for imaginative, creative, deep-thinking people whose values and beliefs are different from society’s shallow culture.
We need to get away from money-obsessed, negative, cynical, pessimistic, anti-spiritual people who drag us down and constantly send us the message that we are wrong and they are right. My first husband matched the cynical, money-obsessed description above and without my realizing it, his life view was killing me slowly. Getting away from him and being around like-minded women immediately stopped my usual health problems and lifted me into an amazing flow of joy.
Back then, when I described in my journal how I’d felt that whole week, I did not make the connection! I was oblivious. But now, with all that I know about psychology and life, I can see it so clearly.
I believe that a lot of empaths and deep thinkers are being killed slowly by the negative, cynical people around them, even when those people are not abusive. Just being around their energy is enough to suck us down and suffocate us in bleak despair.
So try it, and see how you feel. Spend a couple weeks away from everyone in your life, either alone or surrounded by like-minded, positive people.
It doesn’t have to cost money. You could house-sit for someone and water their plants, feed their pets. Stay in a friend’s home while they’re away. Ask around. Let people know you need a “retreat.” Brainstorm ways to stay somewhere for free. Or visualize that one year from now, you attend an amazing retreat/seminar with wonderful people.
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