THE BRIDGE
Below is a link to Edwin H. Friedman’s famous and WONDERFULLY HELPFUL fable, The Bridge. I have never seen anything as brilliantly clear and helpful, about the guilt that traps us in relationships where we give and sacrifice endlessly. The spiritually/ethically aligned perspective in this fable has set free many Beautiful Soul givers.
If you google The Bridge by Edwin Friedman, you’ll find it is available all over the web. I am giving you a link that also takes you to the BPD Family website. Beneath the fable on this site you will see a long and thought-provoking conversation.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=65164.0;all
LETTER TO A COUPLE COUNSELLOR WHO WAS FOOLED BY THE TOXIC PARTNER’S LIES AND GREAT ACTING SKILLS
Again, I am mentioning the Letter to a Counsellor on Patricia Evans’s website. It’s great. SHE’s great!
I talk more about this Letter to a Counsellor in the section, When Experts Get it Wrong, including the reason anyone in a relationship with a Narcissist or other type of verbal abuser may find the letter helpful when seeing a marriage counsellor. Many a counsellor (and family court!) has been fooled by a Narcissist or other crafty verbal abuser.
Here is an excerpt from the letter. The link is below.
“I do not know what to do in the face of such blatant, outrageous lies — especially when my husband comes across as credible. Getting abused all over again, right in your office is not my idea of a therapeutic counselling session.
You will believe what you believe and I cannot change that. May I suggest in the future, however, that when a woman comes to you seeking help and healing from a verbally and sometimes physically abusive relationship, that you start out by believing her and asking hard questions to confront the husband’s lies. Otherwise, the therapy itself can add to the already existing abuse, causing immeasurable trauma and other detrimental consequences.”
Your homework for today is to visit The Great Patricia Evans’s website
Actually, you could go there right now for just ONE minute. And then come back to Happyology. (Always come back to Happyology, darling. You are loved here.) Yes, now. I’m happy to wait. Go. Go go go. See you soon!
(Humming while I wait…hm hm hm hm-hmmm)
Oh, you’re back! Yay!
Sooooo? How was your visit? She’s great, right? I knew you’d like her.
Repeat after me: “Silvia always knows.” (Haha, just kidding. That was my Inner Diva talking. She’s a pain. Always fishing, so conceited. Shhhh. Don’t tell her I said that.)
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